Tag Archive: Paranormal Romance

Well, today is the big V-Day and like any lonely, self-absorbed blogger, I have to crank out some sort of article about the subject of love to get caught up in the whirlwind of search activity and feel better about myself. Love is a tricky and elusive beast that you have to sneak up on and tranquilize properly to get it to do your bidding. Fortunately, there are a plethora of sources out there to help you on your quest. One of which is the trendy, Paranormal Romance genre of fiction and movies.

Last year, I decided to go out on a crazy limb and actually read some of this exploding genre to see what it was all about. I ended up reading almost 100,000 words from the indie PR author, Zoe Winters. Wow, did my eyes get opened. I soon found a perfect girl-attracting formula contained within those words that can help all of us single guys out there.

Zombie Valentine

All girls dream about being swept away by a hero, preferably a sparkly, pasty one. In case you don’t fit that bill, here are three simple steps to securing your very own chick, PR style:

1. Lock Her Away

The first thing you have to do is get her alone . You may want to stage a near death situation where you can jump in and rescue her at the last minute. For instance, a van (driven by your friend) careening through a parking lot that you use your ‘supernatural’ strength to push it out of the way just as it is about to hit her. Get on YouTube and search out car stunts to get more ideas of this nature.

After this, she should be pretty well shaken up, which is the perfect opportunity to take her to your ‘secret lair’ where you will eternally guard her from the entire paranormal world. She may resist at first as she will not immediately understand your manufactured delusions reasoning as to why she needs protection.

Which is exactly why you should…

2. Tell Her You Have Powers

No chick wants to date some boring guy who leads a boring life. Spice it up with an awesome back story about how you have been around for a few generations locked in a bitter struggle with your mortal enemies. Just let your imagination go wild. This is your chance to become what you have always dreamed of: vampire, high functioning zombie, werewolf, Mel Gibson (if you really want to terrify her, not recommended) etc…

You might also have to convince her that since you are much older (but appear to be the same age), that it isn’t creepy for you to be dating her. Just use whatever justification Hugh Helner uses and you will be good.

After you have this in place, it is time to…

3. Convince Her of an Assassination Plot

As with all healthy relationships, everything has to be about her, so make sure to let her know that there are terrible creatures roaming the night looking to dine on her blood and you are the only one who can stop them. This way, she will lean on you whenever trouble comes around the corner. She may give you crazy looks to begin with, but when she realizes that you love her enough to put yourself into immortal (make sure your back story has this word sprinkled throughout it) danger, she will never leave your side.


So there you have it, three simple steps to finding a date for all you single guys on this Singles’ Awareness Day. I think I am going to go cry in a corner now…


I have officially read nearly 100,000 words of the paranormal romance genre after finishing up Mated by the only paranormal romance author I have ever read, Zoe Winters. The journey to get here has been incredibly strange as I have had my brain infused with more emotional instability than I have ever experienced before. Hopefully I can still function as a normal citizen.

I have been hearing lately that digital publishing is getting readers to branch out from their mainstay genres, but I never thought I would be caught up in it myself. The truth is, though, that if Zoe Winters had been traditionally published, I would have missed out on her work because you will never catch me even glancing at the romance section of the bookstore. After branching out into the jacked up fiction that is paranormal romance, I have discovered some pretty good stuff.

Mated is the final chapter in Zoe’s Blood Lust trilogy (which should be coming out in print form soon) and what a final chapter it is.


So what we have here is another crazy chic, Jane if you remember her from Claimed, who has been pretending to be goth to fit in with the vampire crew. Unfortunately for her, she gets wrapped up with these crazy awesome Furries (or werewolves if you prefer the non-hilarious connotation). The alpha furry, Cole, takes her as payment for one of the vampire’s debts and things get awesome.

He is all like, ‘my furry senses tell me that you are my mate’, and she is all like ‘but I don’t get down that way’. So, he keeps her locked up in the hive with all the rest of the furries. They actually have a nice set up for being a pack of furries without real jobs besides eating defenseless forest animals (they even have a TV). Lucky for them, Cole runs a successful web business to pay the bills.

Did I mention there are demons? Yeah, apparently the furries are in league with the demons. Cain, a demon friend of Cole, tells him that one in his pack is actually killing humans instead of defenseless forest animals. Cole’s hatred of forest animals pushes him to find out who it is and gets himself and Jane wrapped up in an insane plot where they may or may not end up romantically entangled by the end of the story. Stuff goes down and blood is everywhere. Because that is how furries like it.


Once again, Zoe has shocked me with her ability to tell the oldest story in the book (boy meets girl) and actually keep it interesting. I seriously doubt a plain romance novel would keep my attention the way she did (not that I am going to test that out). The Blood Lust story keeps evolving and Mated beautifully continues the tradition.

The wolves’ subculture within Cary Town is just as meticulously crafted as the ones from the first two Blood Lust entries. You will be drawn into it along with Jane and walk with her as she slowly releases her prejudices about the wolves. The interactions among this world and its characters melds seamlessly into the plot with nothing feeling out of place.

It is a difficult job to use legendary creatures and not devolve them into hackneyed archetypes, but Zoe walks that line like a pro. Her tremendous talent to bring them to life will fill you with genuine empathy for their plights as they become more like good friends than fictional people. You will not find boring, flat development here. Zoe only writes with 100% pure 3D characterization.

The plot was good and well thought out. It moved along with good pacing for the most part, but there were a few moments that I felt it begin to stall just a little in the middle. It is really not much to complain about as the encompassing world soaks up the plot’s deficiencies. The build to the final climatic scene was so riveting it had me glued to the screen. The sheer emotion fueling the two main characters’ battle with fated love was written so excellently I began questioning whether or not I have actually ever really been in love before.

Mated is worthy as the final chapter in the Blood Lust trilogy. It is a great read that is ridiculously under-priced for its quality. I am by no means a paranormal romance authority, but I can safely recommend it to anyone who needs something deeper than Twilight to test the genre out.

I give it one out of one wolf bites (because that is all it takes to pierce your heart).

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